COBRA! 3-The Convention
by luigi23113
Summary: Cobra Commander and Starscream hold a convention for Chris Latta characters, but it goes horribly wrong when Tendrill invites GI Joes and Autobots!


COBRA! 3: The Convention  
  
Starscream: Ooohh, the suspense!  
  
Cobra Commander hustles back and forth. He quickly grabs his metal mask and puts it on. As he runs out of his quarters, he buttons up his shirt, but is stopped in his tracks by a confused Destro and Baroness. Cobra Commander, still frantic, desperately tries to regain his composure. He quickly asks his two teammates, "How do I look?"  
Destro and Baroness stare at him. Finally, Destro speaks up.  
"Just...like you did in COBRA! 1..."  
Cobra Commander stares at Destro for about one second.  
"GOOD ENOUGH!"  
The Serpentine Slave driver (I love that acronym) dashes off to parts unknown, running back and forth for a little while.  
"What's with him?"  
"There can only be one thing..."  
"Well?"  
"You were out when it was formed back in '94, but each year there is held a-"  
Cobra Commander rushes through the middle of the two.  
"Gotta' go, bye!"  
The two look on as Cobra Commander dashes out of the hall, almost knocking down Serpentor, who, after regaining himself, slowly strides toward the Baroness and Destro.  
"What's with him?"  
"The convention."  
"Oh, poop."  
"What was that, sir?"  
"Oh, um...I mean: It is by great misfortune that the honorable Commander can not join us today."  
"That's more like it."  
  
A cab pulls up in front of a giant, un-marked building. Cobra Commander steps out, and turns back to the cabby. He pulls out his laser pistol and shoots the driver, making his head explode.  
"Keep the change."  
Cobra Commander pulls out a grenade and throws it behind his back, destroying the cab. As he walks towards the building, he glances at a nearby clock, and recoils in shock.  
"Oh, my God! I'm late!"  
The Commander makes a mad dash at the building.  
  
Cobra Soldiers play trumpets, emitting a stereotypical, yet regal, tune. Standing above the soldiers is the honored Decepticon warrior and lieutenant, Starscream! He raises his hand in salute, and announces:  
"Presiding, the honorable COBRA COMMANDER!"  
Cobra Commander, still running, stops in the doorway, straightens his collar, and walks down the passageway. Starscream joins him, and makes conversation.  
"Hello, Commander."  
"Hello, Starscream. How are things going with the Decepticons?"  
"Very well. We have regained control of Cybertron!"  
"That's nice. So, who all's coming?"  
"I don't know, Tendrill sent the invitations this year."  
Cobra Commander stops in his tracks.  
"T-Tendrill did the invitations?"  
Starscream stops and looks back.  
"Is there something wrong?"  
Cobra Commander puts his hand to his chin.  
"I hope not," the hand is returned to its usual position beside the commander's thigh, "I hope not. Come on, let's join the others."  
  
The two walk into a giant room, barred by automatic doors, to see many cartoon characters conversing around a giant statue of Chris Latta. On the back wall are the words "Latta Convention 2002". General Dire, Sergeant Major Knox, Reflector, Skullcruncher, Krunk, Ripper, D'Compose, Tendril, and a Televiper are all present.  
"Alright, people! Is everyone here?"  
"Not yet."  
Starscream turns to Tendrill.  
"What do you mean, 'Not yet'?"  
Suddenly, the ceiling bursts open. The characters inside the rooms recoil in terror. Realizing the figures before him, Cobra Commander can only utter...  
"Oh, No..."  
  
Wheeljack, Breaker, Gung-Ho, Sparkplug, Steeler, and Defensor all stand over the hole, smiles on their faces.  
"Well, this is the place!"  
  
Starscream flies up, parallel to Defensor.  
"What do you mean, 'This is the place'?"  
"We were invited!"  
The entire contents of the large room turn to one, large figure.  
"TENDRILL!"  
Tendrill, twiddling his...thumbs, sheepishly responds.  
"...Well, they ARE Latta characters..."  
Starscream gets up in Tendrills face.  
"YOU IDIOT! You're just lucky you're twice my size, or there would be a hurtin' in you're future...biotch."  
"Word."  
Everyone stares at Gung-Ho.  
"Sorry."  
  
Attempting to get back on subject, Cobra Commander breaks in.  
"Alright, ALRIGHT! Since they are already here, we should just move along with them."  
The heroic characters cheer in delight.  
"Now, we must start the convention by paying our respects to the master," he turns to the statue, "Starscream, you may lead us."  
"By that you mean-"  
"Just do the damn speech, Starscream."  
"Right." All the characters kneel down. "We honor you today, the great voice-bringer, who brought us life, who honored us with your many talents, and who....did...stuff. We honor you, Chris Latta."  
  
The characters converse, making conversation about the many things they have in common. I mean, come on. What else do people talk about? Unless it's one of those one-sided conversations. Where was I? Oh, yeah.  
"Hey," asked Starscream, "Have you ever noticed how your leaders give you the worst insults?"  
"Tell me about it!" responded Cobra Commander.  
"Actually..."  
"Noone asked you, Gung-Ho.  
Gung-Ho walked off.  
Starscream and Cobra Commander resume their conversation.  
"So, what's the worst insult you've ever gotten?"  
"That would have to be 'You blasphemous buffoon'"  
"Who called you that?"  
"Who else?"  
"Serpentor."  
The two laugh, after saying the same thing at the same time.  
"Sooo, what's the worst insult Megatron ever gave you?"  
"Well, that would have to be 'You couldn't even lead androids to a picnic!' from after we landed on Earth."  
"Wow, that's...horrible."  
"What does it even mean?"  
"No idea."  
  
Defensor picks up an energon cube from the buffet. He attempts to make conversation with D'Compose.   
"So, what do you people do here?"  
"I turn people into zombie slaves."  
"I meant, at the convention."  
"I turn people into zombie slaves."  
D'Compose looks at Defensor evilly. Defensor grabs a few energon cubes and inches away.  
  
Steeler had to time this just right. He had to have revenge on Cobra for all the terror they caused the world. Steeler sneaks into the bathroom, checks to make sure noone else is in there, and peeks down in his jacket.  
"You ready, buddy?"  
A small chimp looks up at Steeler, confused.  
  
"Control yourself..."  
Starscream could barely keep himself calm. He was there. RIGHT there. The Autobot's human friend, Sparkplug Whitwicky. Sitting there, on an Autobot's shoulder. He had to. He must. But he couldn't. He wouldn't. He had to control...  
"THERE'S A MONKEY IN THE BATHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Cobra Commander, panicked, rushed out of the bathroom, followed by the small chimp from before. Starscream freaks out and fires on Sparkplug, disintegrating his body. Defensor looks in horror at where his buddy once sat.  
"You...KILLED Sparkplug!"  
"...oops."  
Defensor dashed at Starscream, who, using his smaller size, dodged him, having him slam into the wall, outside, and into another building. The police officers investigating the exploded cab quickly turn toward Defensor, and run to him, but are squashed by Tendrill. Desfensor get up, but is blasted away again by a punch from D'Compose.   
"COBRA!"  
Cobra Commander, inside Starscream, blasts away at Wheeljack and the GI Joes. The Inhumanoids are easily overpowering Defensor. The scenery is being torn apart by the battling behemoths. Defensor is knocked into a skyscraper, which proceeds to bend over. D'Compose bends over the Gestalt, using his "Magic touch". Horns grow out of Defensor's head, his joints mold togeather, and rust spots form on his body. The giant robot stands up, transformed into one of the Inhumanoid's slave. D'Compose only has to point, and Defensor moves off to cause more havoc.  
  
Starscream lands near the building that Defensor slammed into. Cobra Commander exits the cockpit, and Starscream transforms. The two look at the building about to fall over. The two stare up at the many people hanging from it's broken beams, as Defensor and the Inhumanoids cause general destruction in the background.  
"Hm..." Cobra Commander pondered, "Do you think we should help it along?"  
"Nah, we don't want to get in trouble. September 11, and all that."  
"Very well. Let us move along."  
  
The two walk through the destruction, carefully avoiding the Inhumanoids and police cars rushing about. Steeler rushes towards the two, the chimp pounding his head.  
"You know, Starscream? I think this was the best convention yet."  
  
Authors note: There, COBRA! 3. Finally. This will be the last COBRA! Story for awhile, for two reasons:  
1. I need to work on my other stories more.  
2. I've run out of ideas.  
  
As well, I just received a Cobra Commander version 1 from E-Bay. No GI Joe collector should be without it!  
  
PS: Check out the sequels to my other stories, coming...soon! 


End file.
